:::::: Kiseki no Hana - part 1

"I'm gonna make it.. I'm gonna make it.. just a little more.. OH NO! Oh God, help me! AAAUGH!!" I took a flying leap of faith and landed right in the middle of a pit. The Nintendo played mocking music at me and I fell back against the couch, grumbling. "I didn't make it," I grumble.

Player 2, sitting right next to me, just laughs. "It's okay, Ken-kun!" he says enthusiastically. "I haven't played this old thing in years. I'm not very good either!"

I raise an eyebrow. "Not very good my ass, Omi!" I reply. "You're about twenty levels ahead of me! Whoever invented Mario should've made smaller holes."

He laughs again and expertly navigates through a field of flying fish. "Daijobu, Ken-kun!" he says. "You'll get better in time.. whoa!"

I'm satisfied to see him have to scramble in order to save his tail. And, in the end, he falls into the hole right before the castle steps. He falls back and looks crestfallen as I return and play whatever level I'm on.. 2-4 or something. "Aw man, that looks like more lava," I mutter. "I'm in serious trouble now."

"Easy for you to say!" I reply, jerking the controller in the direction I'm jumping. "There's a big fire thing that's circling around! I'm gonna get roasted!" And about two seconds later, I do. "Awww, MAN," I groan. "How'd you talk me into this, anyway? I play soccer, not video games."

Another easy grin from the short blonde. "I like spending time with you, Ken-kun! In all honesty, outside of.." he trails off and blushes, then continues, "Ah, you're my best friend!"

I caught his slip up, but I say nothing, I just smile. "Arigatou, Omi!" I reply, honestly touched. "You're my best friend too, outside of Aya."

Nowadays, admitting my relationship with the cold, silent redhead isn't as hard as it used to be. Omi and Youji don't care, and as long as they don't, that makes my life so much easier. Aya is death in the form of a twenty-year-old boy with flaming red hair and piercing violet eyes. That doesn't bother me much anymore, either. Sometimes I envy the way he can kill someone with no mercy, and feel no remorse afterwards. Sometimes I think the skeletons in my closet are gonna come out and strangle me.

The game over music plays on the screen, and Omi sits there, gazing at it blankly. Then he turns to me, vivid blue eyes brimming with something he just -has- to say. "Ken-kun, can I tell you something?" he blurts out.

I blink and tilt my head. "Sure, Omi," I reply. I switch off the Nintendo and the TV and resume my spot next to him on the couch. "What's up?"

He looks down, long lashes drifting down to brush his cheeks. "Well," he says quietly, "I... have a boyfriend."

Not exactly news to me, but he doesn't know that I know about it already. "Oh?" I ask. "Congradulations. Who's the lucky guy?"

Again, not news to me. "That's great!" I reply. However, the wheels in my head are spinning really fast. "But... hm. You might want to keep that secret from the other two."

He nods, then looks up at me. "I don't feel right hiding it, though," he whispers. "It's like I'm -ashamed- of him."

I frown. I know that feeling well enough. "Hm... but, Omi, you gotta realise that he's Schwarz. You and Aya are already on shaky terms as it is.."

Ouch, wrong thing to say. Good going, Hidaka. Omi looks down again, visibly wounded. "I know," he replies, his voice shaking a little. "I know, demo..."

Regretting what I'd said, I reach out and touch his shoulder. "Don't worry, Omi," I say gently. "Aya's just...like that. No matter what he says, he -does- like you."

He looks up at me with blue eyes that are luminous with tears and nods slowly. "Hai, I know," he replies. He tries to smile at me. "Don't worry, I'm sure it'll all work out!" With that, he hops up and stretches. "I think I'm going to go study for a bit. See you later, Ken-kun!"

I watch him go, mystified, and wondering if I'd said something that I should give myself a kick in the prosterior for. Well, I assume I'll hear about it later if I have. I get up and stretch out cramps, hearing my back pop. Ow. Guess I've been sitting down for too long. Absently, I reach up and push my glasses up on my nose, then wander towards the kitchen.

I get there just in time to witness what might be the funniest thing I've seen yet. Aya is standing on his tiptoes, percariously trying to balance something in the storage closet. And, about five seconds later, it -all- comes crashing down, burying him. Torn between laughing hysterically and being worried, I kneel next to him.

He sits up and looks at me, then looks around the room. Once he's made sure of whatever he was looking for, he reaches for me and tugs me into his arms. I fall forward, surprised, and then smile as I rest against him. "Mm," he says quietly. "If you want to help, that'd be nice."

For a few moments, we stay like that, then I pull away and survey the mess. "The faster we get this cleaned up, the faster we can fix something for dinner."

He nods and gets up, extending a hand to me. I take it and he pulls me up, and I blink at him. "Your hands are freezing!" I exclaim, taking both of them and pressing them between my own.

I grin up at him and tilt my face up, kissing him lightly. "Don't forget them next time," I say, letting him go when I'm satisfied his hands are warm again. "Let's get this mess cleaned up."

Together, we manage to get the job done quickly. And the storage closet looks better than it did beforehand. "What should we make?" I muse, surveying the containers.

Aya smiles faintly and takes my hand, tugging me along. "Nani?" I ask, confused. He walks with me to my room and stops to kiss me lightly.

He nods and starts off for his own room. I watch him go, then walk slowly into my room, mystified. He wants to go out on a -date-? Will wonders never cease? I grab a pair of khaki cargo pants and a nice shirt, plus clean underwear and socks. I take the boxers and pants to the bathroom, planning on taking a shower first.

I remove my clothes and glasses, setting the latter carefully atop the clean clothes that rest on the sink. As I step under the warm spray of water and tilt my head back to wet my hair, I marvel over the fact that Aya wants to go out. With ME. Now, that shouldn't have been a shock. Two months ago, it really wouldn't have been. But lately, he's been withdrawing into himself again. A slight frown finds its way across my face as I shampoo my hair. He's not totally the way he was yet, but close enough that it worries me. A lot.

As I soap myself down, a soft sigh escapes my lips. I imagine him standing before me, the water running over smooth, pale skin. He'd reach for me, run his hands over my shoulders. Then he'd reach past me, grabbing the washcloth and soaping it down. And with that -look- in his eyes, he'd run the cloth over my chest.

I arch my back slightly as my hand mimics my daydream. "Ahh, Aya," I breathe as I move the cloth lower. The look in his eyes would soften at my whisper and he'd move closer to me, running the cloth in soft circles on my stomach.

"Mm, Ken?" he'd whisper into my ear, his breath tickling. I rested a trembling hand on the wall of the shower and arched into his touch as he moved it even lower, resting on my hip. "You want this... ne?"

"Ohhh," I breathe. He'd move the cloth over just a little bit, barely touching me, and then envelop me in soapy warmth. I gasp and thrust my hips into the cloth, squeezing my eyes closed. It's Aya's hand that caresses me gently, it's Aya doing these things to me. With a soft cry and a final jerk, I feel my climax wash over me. Trembling, I lean against the wall, catching my breath. I open my eyes slowly and make a face at the mess on the wall. I turn the showerhead at it and spray it until it's gone, then replace it and guiltily finish washing.

After I'm done, I turn the water off and hop out, my face flaming. I haven't had any need to do that in a really long time. I dry off quickly and put my glasses back on, then my clean boxers and khakis. My face is still hot. I comb my hair out quickly and then hurry out of the bathroom, eager to be away from the mirror and wondering why I feel so guilty. It's not like doing that isn't... normal, or anything. I just haven't had the need to since Aya and I started a more physical relationship.

Has it really been that long, though? We've barely kissed in the past week, let alone made love to eachother. For that, it's been about -two- weeks. Between missions and exhaustion, there hasn't been a lot of opportunity. I guess my body is trying to tell me something. I smile wryly as I finish buttoning my shirt up. Vaguely, I can hear the shower start again, and the thought of Aya standing there alone makes me feel hot all over. Frusterated, I open my window and stand there, letting the cold wind wash over me. It feels -good-.

In about fifteen minutes, there's a knock at my door. I go answer it, pausing to grab my watch off of the nightstand. "Hai, coming!" I call. I pull the door open, and my jaw nearly hits the floor. As it is, I merely draw in a deep breath and widen my eyes. Aya stands before me, looking absolutely stunning. He's wearing black pants and a loose fitting long-sleeved white shirt, with a black vest over it. The colors accent his natural coloring even more than usual.

His blush deepens and he reaches out a pale, slender hand to me. I take it, and he smiles. "Let's go," he says. Together, we walk down the stairs and outside into the cold night air. I reflect absently that I didn't grab a jacket. He dons his black trenchcoat and we walk side by side. Luckily, however, I wear a knitted sweater that does the job. We climb into his car and he pulls away from the curb.

I raise an eyebrow and shrug, leaning back in the seat and gazing out the side window. In the silence, I fidget a little. I want to ask him about what's going on with him lately, but I just can't. It doesn't seem like the right time or place to do so.

Absently, I reach up and touch the simple silver necklace I wear around my neck. It's just a thin chain, with no pendants or decorations. Aya gave it to me as a symbol of his love for me, on the day I realised I was blind. I smile faintly at the thought of that day. Even though I can see again now, the memory of being trapped in darkness haunts me.

Gazing out the window, I blink and peer into the dusky shadows. We're at the stoplight by the soccer field now. The lights are on and shining on the field, but there's no game right now, and no crowd.

I bite my lip, remembering games played on that very field. I was the best goalie the J-league had ever seen, and my soccer career was bound to take me a really long way. Or so my coach always said. I remember games with Kase, out there on nights like this, just him and me and the soccer ball...

I grinned and brushed unruly bangs out of my face. "No you won't!" I yelled back. "Just try and get it by The Wall!"

He advanced quickly, faking first to the left and then to the right. Once he was close enough, he shot. He was one of the best forwards on the team, and thusly he had a powerful kick. The ball flew over my head and I jumped, plucking it out of the air with all the grace and ease of a dancer.

Kase grinned at me and walked to me, giving me a high five. "Nobody's gonna score on us this year, Ken," he said with a wink. "You're just too good."

I laughed and raked my hair out of my eyes. "You think so?" I asked, grinning. "Well, we'll see what happens."

Chuckling, he took the ball from me. "Let's go shower up," he said lightly. "We've got a meeting to go to tonight."

He shrugged out of his shirt and tossed it aside. "Get used to it, Kenken," he said laughingly. "If you want to really be a pro, you'll have to go to a lot of meetings."

I shook my head and stripped my jersey off, folding it neatly and putting it in my bag. "If you say so," I said. "You've been in longer than me, it's true."

After we'd showered up and were walking out of the stadium, something caught my eye. A young girl running out onto the field, laughing.

I grinned at the scene and handed Kase my bag. "Oi!" I hollered. The boy and his sister looked over at me, and I drop-kicked my ball to them.

Much, much later that night, as Kase and I rested together in bed, breathing hard from our... ah... earlier exertions, Kaze tousled my hair gently. "You're really fond of kids, aren't you, Ken?" he asked. "That was your favorite ball."

I blink, startled out of my memories. I turn, looking at Aya. "Aa, sorry!" I say sheepishly. "I guess I kinda fuzzed out."

He raises an eyebrow. "I've been trying to get your attention for almost five minutes," he says. "We're here."

"Oh," I say intelligently. We get out of the car and I stretch, then look at the resteraunt. My eyebrows shoot up, it's a rather fancy Chinese place. "Looks good," I say.

We walk in together and are escorted to a booth. I can't help but grin a little, it's really like we are out on a date. And maybe we are, who knows. I guess I never thought of us as "dating", more like... just being together. Being in love.

Aya picks up the menu and flips through it, and I do the same. I'm still kind of lost in thought about the past, and he nudges my leg under the table with his foot. "Earth to Ken," he says, sounding faintly amused.

I nod again. The waiter comes and Aya gives the order. I sip at my glass of water and then gaze into it. Water. Drugged water, that ended my career in J-league before I could make anything of it.

"Ken," Aya says. This time I hear him the first time and look up at him again. "What's the matter? You're a million miles away."

I sigh and lean back in the booth, looking at him with half closed eyes. "Gomen," I say. "I guess I am. But you have been too," I point out, raising an eyebrow.

He blinks at me, then looks to the side, as if uncomfortable. "Uh, yeah," he says, sounding remarkably like me.

Blinking, he looks up at me with startled violet eyes. I smile at him, and he realises I was joking. He smiles as well. "Aa," he replies. "I don't know, I guess I've been distracted. It's almost Christmas, you know," he points out.

Now it's my turn to blink. "You celebrate Christmas?" News to me, certianly, seeing as how we'd lived together for nearly four years and we hadn't done more than just say "Merry Christmas" every year.

He nods. "My family did, yes," he replies. "Since Aya-chan is awake now, I've been thinking more about it lately."

I smile. I'd met his little sister all of one time, and I was thoroughly charmed by her. I'm pretty sure that was her intention, too. She approves of us, or so Aya says. "I'll have to get her something," I say.

He grimaces and nods. "That's my problem," he says. "I want to get her something, but... well, Ken, she's almost nineteen now. She was sixteen when the accident happened. She's missed two years of life. I don't really know if I should get her a CD of her favorite band or what.."

I nod. "Yeah," I reply. "That might be a problem. Hm. Maybe her favorite band's released a new CD in the past two years?"

He brightens a little. "I think they may have," he says. "Um, but I don't listen to the kind of music she does. I can't stand it," he confesses.

I grin. "Does she listen to pop?" At Aya's nod, I continue. "I know the feeling. I hate it. But why don't you ask Omi? He listens to it."

I laugh softly. "That's what I'm here for, I guess!" I say cheerfully. "Why don't we go visit her after we eat?"

Violet eyes brighten a little, and I'm rewarded with the beautiful smile that he only shows to me. "That's a good idea, Ken," he says.

Because her health is still fragile, Aya-chan lives in the hospital at the moment. As soon as she's released, however, she'll probably come live with us. We have a room we can clear out and give to her. She seems to be happy about this idea. When she comes to live with us, however, I think I'd better get used to calling Aya "Ran", or else there'll be some major confusion.

He blinks, surprised. "I... guess you can," he says. He frowns a little, thinking this over. "If Aya-chan comes to live with us... aa. I see what you mean."

I smile at him. "Okay, Ran," I say. I really, really love his name. Not that I didn't like Aya, but... it didn't really -fit- him. It was kind of just something to call him. Like a bad nickname.

Our food arrives and for a couple minutes, we just eat in silence. During that time, my mind drifts back again. I can't figure out why I've been thinking about the past so much lately. It's like a bad dream that keeps coming back. Omi told me once that when bad things happen to a person, sometimes they can't forget for a long time, even though they don't think of it every day.

I mull over this for a little while, twirling some lo mein on my chopsticks and not really seeing it. If Omi's right, then how can I deal with the resurfacing memories? It's stuff I'd just as soon not think about, and stuff I'd even more not want Aya - iya, Ran - to know about. Especially my relationship with Kase. The thought of Ran finding out makes me feel rather sick. I -really- don't want that getting out, because I've just got this bad feeling that if it does, he might be upset with me...